Saturday, December 5, 2009

Just Say NO

I grew up loving the pool and have swam my whole life. I wouldn't call myself a swimmer but usually I don't drown when I go. I went to Golds Gym to do my usual 40 lap work out. I was about to take my sweats off when in the corner of my eye I saw a man, he looked like a slightly over weight Tiger Woods. This alone freaked me out. He was standing in front of the big window doing the PEC DECK FLY REAR DELT machine (if any of you work out you know what I'm talking about) staring me down like he was about to eat a steak.. and I looked good. I tried not to stare back but it was kind of hard when his eyes were not moving from me... I started to fake stretch like I knew what I was doing and waited for the perfect opportunity for him to look away for a minute so I could rip off my sweats and jump in, FAST. After a couple minutes I got my window of opportunity and took it for all it was worth. I swam my laps and about a 500 in I looked up in the window to see Mr. Woods standing in the window, arms crossed, just doing what he does best- staring. eee gats! Who is this guy and what is going on.. I felt like my work out should be over, NOW, so I grabbed my kick board and started my cool down. Trying not to look at him in the window, I looked straight forward and even at times closed my eyes-this was a bad idea. I got to the wall, did a quick turn, had my eyes closed.. and opened them at a moment when it was too late. I was about half way down the lane when I opened my eyes to see good old chubby Tiger Woods 'crouched' down at the end of my lane... waiting to pounce. there was no turning back. I headed straight for him, gulped quite loudly, and looked up at him with my neon green cap and goggle-line-eyes waiting for him to say something.
Max: "Whatchss youwr name"
Me: I responded
Max: "I"m macxss."
-pause- now what?? I thought to myself.. He said nothing.. just stared.. ??? So I awkwardly said..
Me: "Hi, I'm just swimming.. the pool is really hot today.."
When you have nothing to say, talk about the weather... of a swimming pool?
Max: "Yea I can t-hell, Your Face es really red"
Me: "Thank you..?"
Max: "Can I have your number"
Cut to the chase eh?
Me: "Oh sorry I don't have my phone.."
Max: "I have mine" : )
Dang it, I thought I got out of that one. Stupidly.. I gave it to him! I don't know WHAT I was thinking at the time.. *$$#*$#*%&#*! dumb mistake. Don't do this at home.
He leaves, I leave. As I am walking out of the gym I hear a quick honk, look over, and there is MAX waving as fast as his little hand can move. 'Ruuun!' I thought... no time- chime! goes my phone and oh what do you know, text message "Hi i'm max from the gym" oh brother... I don't reply.. I get in the car and hear my phone ring.. same number as the text! Give me a break.. Who is this Max Woods anyways?
Here is our relationship as of today: January 22, 2010:

December 5, 2009
Hi I'm Max from the Gym
3:16 PM
Hi max, I am really sorry but my head wasn't on straight, I just started dating someone and I'm not interested in anyone else right now.
4:43 PM
Oh wow ok i just wanted to be ur friend
December 7, 2009
So u don't wanna be friends either?
December 9, 2009
i thoung we could be friends but idk what happened
December 16, 2009
December 23, 2009
January 5, 2010
January 21, 2010
Hey Whats Up