Elderly.

So i have biology at 8:30 in the morning which means if i want to ride the bus i need to catch the 7:59 bus. i woke up at 8.. great.. and had to shower.. even better. i decided to take the day off from biology and go swimming instead. i threw my suit on and went to golds gym to get it over with for the day. When i got there all the lanes were gone and i saw a bunch of old people walking down the handicap stairs to get into the water... PERFECT, WATER AEROBICS. Being who i am, i jumped in and told everyone i was joining today. To the left of me was dear marci parker. a 4 foot nothing Hispanic woman who was as tiny as could be. her chin barely came over the surface of the water. when i asked her her name and repeated it to make sure i had it right she replied with a simple "Si." and went back to her work out with the biggest grin on her face. to the right of me was Elvi Nielson. She was hysterical. her laugh was contagious and i could not get enough of these women! there were 5 ladies and one man (a dragged along husband of course). as we were in the water i was almost drowning i could not get enough water aerobics! one of the routines was, "kick me, kick me like i just stole your baby!" Elvi so softly but in her loudest voice yelled "not MY baby! HIYA!" Here are the highlights:
+we had noodles and were pretending they were bicycles going from one end of the pool to the other. as we were doing this one of the ladies looks over at me and says "wow! you got it! the first time i ever did this the noodle kept smacking me in the face, SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!"
+can we stop now?
+at one point we were asked to shimmy. the instructor kept saying "please ladies, keep them in the water, keep them in the water!" while the women were jumping up as high as they can and shimmying their hearts content. i looked over at Marci during this, and she was doing her little wiggle and i yelled "Marci! Baila Baila" she started laughing so hard she nearly drowned.
+Afterward the ladies informed me they sit in the hot tub for 10 min after each work out, and they so kindly invited me to join. They were so much fun to be with, they made me laugh with each word. They invited me to join them every morning from 8:30-9:30am i think i will become a regular!

Fa La La La La

in advance, i am sorry for those who read this whole blog and don't laugh. Some of these moments might be "you had to be there" moments, they all are hilarious to me though.. that's why i write them.. so sorry if you don't laugh...
Todays Favorites:
1. i turned the corner to this:
His leg was twitching his arm looked like it was about to fall off. I was going to just walk by but i decided i needed to capture this moment. i took a picture of him and instantaneously started laughing so hard, out loud. a boy stopped next to me and started laughing so he took a picture too. as we walked away from each other i could hear him still laughing which then made me laugh harder.. then the people who were coming down the stairs while i was going up looked at me so strange because i was alone.. laughing. this made me laugh even harder. i could barely walk up the stairs.

2. So in institute today we had a new girl sign up for the class so the teacher told us to ask her 2 questions about her life. no one said anything. it was dead silent until the boy across the row from her asked her what her favorite gum was. (welcome to institute.) she batted her eye lashes and looked up at him through her bangs and said, "Spearmint Stride" This made his day.... it must have, because half way through the lesson i turned around and they were sharing spearmint stride gum and literally just smiling at each other, eyes locked like I've never seen. I'm sure they will be holding hands tomorrow.

3. This week i have been riding the bus to school, i don't have any more gas in my car and i just can't get up the gumption to spend money to fill it. i paid for a bus pass at the beginning of the semester so i guess i should use it, it is quite convenient i must say and also... its where i get my entertainment. here is a little background to riding the bus for those of you who don't get the privilege.
Passengers of Bus 830:
-The guy who has his music WAY to loud coming from his earphones and i can sing word for word in perfect sync
-The boy who is singing aloud to himself, not thinking that other people can hear him
-The woman with her over sized roller backpack with papers coming out of all angles
-The teenage over-pierced couple that are just SO in love and can't stop embracing
-The man who blinks uncontrollably fast and often while rocking back and forth
-If you're lucky you get the missionaries, the blind, the seeing eye dog to go along with the blind, and don't forget the abundant amount of Asians.
Today's bus ride went a little something like this:
preface
boy #1: overly large with an overly small head and the voice of Rocky.
boy #2: tall and skinny with red yellow hair and beady eyes.
They just got reunited since High School.. what a better place than the Provo Bus. Boy #1 walks onto the bus after their reunion he is waiting and i look up just at the RIGHT moment to see a perfect stream, very long, of clear boogers drop out of his nose and hit the bus floor? or seat? i could not tell.. this to me was when i decided to stop riding the bus and go get some gas. woof.
Here is some of their conversations in the 30 enjoyable minutes i got to be with them
boy #1: "dude just call me a Womoan"
boy #2: "what....?"
boy #1: "a white samoan. i am totally going to samoa to be with my kind, raww dude. ya"

boy #2: "i had the most retarded roommate ever, he was so freaky dude he thought he was a psychic ninja with gifts.. he played the wood flute every night and i could never bring chicks over. i hated that kid"

boy #2: "i love getting hammered, i have on several occasions"
boy #1: "yeah man me too, have you done the green? i love that stuff"
boy #2: "dude you do that stuff now?"
boy #1: "cha man i use to be so molly Mormon"
boy #2: "Dude i could never figure you out"

A very built Tongan then walks onto the bus with earphones on. His shirt says UVU basketball
boy #1: " yo! homeboy! my brother, what IS up!?!"
Tongan: looks up, sits down, and completely ignores him out of embarrassment
boy #1: "That is my friend, He is in my math class"

Meet T. Heath Ogden, my biology Teacher.

Please, watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvqoF-uhQnQ
keep in mind the picture above. Picture him screaming at the top of his lungs "EVOLUTION BABY!", playing the air guitar, and head banging.. When he was done, his perfect slicked back hair was parted in the middle and he had bangs like Jessie from Full House.
Talk about a Biology class...

**Note for the day:
Bigger & Faster means NOTHING if you are sterile.

So There's This Boy...

So I am in an institute class everyday, Monday through Friday. Meaning some days i go home and sleep instead of attending because i feel like its a good justification. I went to my Teachings of President Thomas S. Monson the first week and like any first day of class it was dead silent and no one talked to each other. we were all standing in line to sign the role and the boy in front of me chuckles to himself and says with a gulp, "wow it sure is quiet in here!" trying to break the "awkward" (even though it hardly was) tension.. I, being the closest one to him, felt the need to respond.. so i just smiled. He then sat himself right next to me and asked me all the questions that Randolph asked me.. this was about 2 weeks ago. Now, I have been exhausted every Tuesday and Thursday because of my ever so early biology class at 8:30 so i haven't been back since that first day. Well last Thursday i took the plunge and decided it was time to stop being inactive from the prophets teachings and attend because honestly, it is an amazing class. i took a 2 hour nap in the upstairs of the institute building while i waited between classes and the minute i walked in, this particular boy i met the first day waved me down and i had no other choice, i stumbled over the stray feet and back packs to the end of the row to sit by him. during the lesson there was a quote that i absolutely loved and was scurrying to get all the words down before the slide was changed. This gentleman of a guy next to me was quicker than i was and got the last sentence that i was missing. i asked him if i could copy it and after i was done he took his clicker pen, leaned in closely, dipped his head, and coughed... tapping his pen to the lower left hand corner of his notebook. written in very sloppy hardly readable handwriting i read, "whats your #?"
how do i ALWAYS get in these situations with people i DON'T want to give my number to.. why can't any of the cute boys ask? i see this boy two times a week.. blahhh so i wrote it very fast and rushed out! on my way out i heard the mumble, "i'm trying to be bold meghan!" in an almost yell... woah.
so he texted me about 5 minutes after the fact, the clever "testing 123 testing 123" text. i never replied. i forgot to be honest. he has texted me about 4 or 5 times since he got my number and i take a good... 24 hours? to reply. oops. well today he texted me asking me out to dinner this weekend and i never texted back (is that horrible?) and i fell asleep in the institute building and woke up right before Book of Mormon. i put the hood of my coat over my head without the arms in and stumbled off to class. with my eyes closed and half way asleep still trying to wake up i ran head first into a boy in the hallway! i think i should stop closing my eyes... i looked up and to end my perfect day, i rub my eyes to see KEVIN!

According To Randolph

Today started out like just any old particular Friday. I slept through my first three alarms, woke up too late to shower on purpose, took 30 minutes to find a parking spot, and ran into Anthropology with 3 minutes to spare. Afterward I decided I had had enough of UVU for one hour so I took a detour home to the temple. There was a two hour wait but I definitely had time to kill. I sat down feeling overwhelmed from just simple being. I closed my eyes for a second and to my dismay quickly felt my seat pop up with the jolt of another who plopped down next to me. I slowly opened my eyes to the image of hairy feet and toenails literally 2cm long. My face became contorted and I was in disgust that someone could even wear shoes with those hangers! I closed my eyes again trying to make the image disappear. Five or ten minutes go by and then I hear a heavy aired and loud "whisper" say "Whats your name?" Oh gosh.. I immediately think to myself.. honestly?? why?? sigh... I tell toenails my name and he says with much confidence "I'm Randolph." Fit him well, I must say.. Here is where the story picks up though.. He then asks me every question in the book.. I felt like I was on a first date slash at a stake dance during a slow song.. I was quite taken off guard by why he needed to know all these things right now in the temple... "Why do you want to be a Deaf Studies Major?? Do you have a Deaf Mom or Dad?" Ok Randolph.. I'm trying to feel the spirit and YES I do try and come each week.. and YES I come alone... Here though is the ticket: "What are you doing after this??" (Jaw drops and I wish I would have never opened my eyes in the first place) Did he seriously just ask that... My mind was racing and I slowing said.. "swimming.. I like to swim...(since previously he asked what I do for fun each day)" Thankfully I was saved by the worker before he could respond and it was my turn. I never saw Randolph again.. I don't know where he went.. or why he was there.. but he answered the question me and my roommates have had for years.. do guys really pick up girls in the temple, and do people really meet their spouses there.. thank you Randolph, forever it could have been a mystery.

Along The Way

Ok, so I decided I needed to tell my day to day stories with someone, somewhere. I Go to Utah Valley University and it is the cherry on top for people watching. I can sit for hours on end sometimes even missing a class watching the people there. They make quite the company! I park, on purpose, on the opposite end of campus just so I can walk through the crowds picking favorites.
Here are some of my favorite this past week:
+The boy who was ferociously coming towards the main front doors on roller blades so quickly that he almost hit the door face first. I stopped to see what he was going to do when he got inside.. was he going to put on shoes? I was so curious.. I watched as he somehow hit the handicap button, with pretty good aim I must say, and to my disappointment but sudden laughter out loud he went right on his way! Rollerblading as fast as he could right down the hall of flags trying to dodge the people in his way.

+There is this boy I see everywhere.. I see him at the grocery store, I see him on campus, I see him at Pizza Pie Cafe, I see him every place you can imagine. After seeing him regularly for a good week or so I begin to think we are friends and want to call out to him or say hello each time I see him.. this however is not the case. I do not know his name, I doubt he even knows I exist, and we certainly are not even acquaintances.. we are nothing. Not even to my surprise, he is in my Biology class. He sat in front of me yesterday and we had our first words.. he has Jesus as the background of his computer.

+Sitting in Biology singing to myself and the boy next to me asks me if I said something.. kind of embarrassed I said, "Oh sorry I just have a song stuck in my head I can't get out.." He then, raising one eye brow says, "Don't worry, you wouldn't feel dumb right now if you knew what I was doing this morning.." Taken off guard and very curious it took me about a minute to ask him.. "what exactly were you doing, DAN" with conviction and improving his posture he clears his throat and says he was doing British accents talking to himself in the car and laughing so hard about it he had to pull over.. oh my heavens! He is now my "study buddy" (in a British accent)

+The girl who walks the halls in the as-short-as-they-get-without-being-a-belt-loop-jean- 'shorts' (in the winter time), army combat boots, and fish net tights. She was walking with her matted blond hair straight towards me and without missing a beat or thinking whatsoever I sing aloud "HEY MAMA HEY MAMA!" After realizing what I just did, I picked up the pace of my step.. yikes!

+ The teacher who wants to do a good dead so he sees the trash in the trash can is overflowing. He tries to balance himself with his roller backpack and the trashcan lip while he picks up his leg and shoves it right down into the bottom of the trashcan. Losing his balance he falls over slightly but catches himself with his rolling backpack, love those, and takes all the trash he put into the trashcan out on the floor with his leg.. nice job little boy blue.