Remember Kevin?

I just saw him at UVU.
Holding a girl's hand laughing.

Kevin is doing just fiiine.

so this blog is so totally lame. i am so sorry for those of you who look at it thinking i have something funny to say and realize my last 5 or so posts have been anything but creative and could lull your 4 year old to sleep at night. i apologize. i have been scrounging for something funny for days... weeks...months now.. yes, i laugh on a regular basis, but never anything to really write about. My zipper was down all 8 hours or work yesterday? is that good? I will think of something, i promise.

until then... don't give your baby pop rocks.

Pictures for the thought

imma B

so after my encounters with Max, Randolph, Kevin, and a few others my brothers have been pretty worried about me giving out my number so nonchalant.. Today when i was walking home from school i saw down the road the one and only B Money.  A 38 year old "rap artist" who walks the streets of Provo selling T-shirts and Cd's.  His latest Cd titled: "From Bling to Riches".  I  tried avoiding him but he crossed the street at the perfect time and landed right in my way... there he was, in all his glory.  he informed me that he was "too small for his britches" and he wanted my number...  that was seriously our whole conversation. thinking back to my brothers advice... i gave him Kyle's. he then, on the side of the road, took my picture (for the contact number of course), told me he'd hit me up, and gave me a high five & left wearing his "I'm so Hood" t-shirt...

sorry kyle! B will be calling you to chill sometime shortly.

Benjamin Button

OOH an expired pie!

Brittany and I went to Costco today to buy some more KB socks and gum but we got oh so much more! The sample carts were out and we were hungry! we stopped by a few until our eyes met with Otis Spunkmeyer cookies! such a delight.  we scurried over to the tiny table to wait for them to come out of the easy bake oven.  i looked down at the tray to see that there was grease stains on the wax paper showing that the cookies are not cut into small sample pieces, no, they are completely round whole cookies given away. hot. straight from the oven, and for free. could the day get any better? honestly?  we anxiously waited our turn, there were 3 other young teens before us, not a problem, the tray had 6. the minute that tray was raised to put the mouth watering Otis cookies on the table  i heard coming from behind me shuffling small feet and the low hum of a little old man on a motorized cart. before i could even think the cookies were gone! i looked up to see with dismay an old lady and the little old man devouring MY cookies! now if you did your math right you'd be asking, where is the 6th cookie? a lady in her early 80's snatched it out from under us and in all her excitement she dropped it! i KNOW i wouldn't have done that. being old, i guess she assumed she had privileges, and she demanded the next cookie that was ready.  a swarm of 80 year olds, half walking half crippled, and 15 minutes later we finally got our cookies.  worth every push and shove.
we then headed over for the frozen foods, the ravioli! there was a not so strapping young man, due to apron and hairnet, giving the samples.  he told us that they wouldn't be ready for another 3-4 minutes. no problem. this time, we decided to be aggressive. while we waited we complained about the previous sample table, demanding to not relive it again. i, in my rather loud voice, told him all about the lady who dropped the cookie and how greedy she was demanding the next one... to my embarrassment she was right behind me! this sent us in an uproar... the little old man in the motorized cart then came quickly... then the shuffling.. these elderly are quick! the sample man was so amused by us, he said he was new in town.  he needed fun things to do and asked if we liked to go clubbing.. he then asked us if we knew anyone who could help him find things to do.. i KNEW this was a pick up line.  rapidly the last 3 minutes of conversation summarized in my head: Costco sample worker, club-er, 28, moving to Utah so he wouldn't get in "trouble" in California, beach trips on Sundays after Sacrament, and single for a reason popped into my head. intriguing? i think not. i decided to play it cool, dumb and dumber style, and tell him there are many fun people at UVU who i'm sure would be happy to help him tomorrow in class.

we then walked away eating our hot ravioli, leaving him and the elderly in the dust. together.
Thank you Costco for taking my $60 in exchange for conditioner, gum, and toilet paper.
and i thought i went there to save.

Golden Snitch

I was sneaking through a 6th graders email today and this is what i found:
"I have to tell you guys something. Im tired of lying to you guys so much. meet me in the creek at the porter rock well trail creek at 4:00 tomorrow. P.s check out these paintings I have made." 
I think I'll go check out the scene tomorrow in the creek at the porter rock well trail creek at 4:00.

i then found her in a chat room, some peoples kids..

GUY, king of the Y

Today my roommate & I took the challenge to hike Y mountain for our work out.  When we arrived at the base we saw that there were others who had the same idea. We started the climb when we saw a man in a blue sweatshirt on the next switchback up from us.  he turned around and in the loudest most boisterous and deep voice yelled "TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU SISTERS! IT'S A BEEEEAUUUTIFUL DAY!" Before we started the hike we had decided that we wanted to run every other switch back.. well this was interrupted by this man who didn't let us out of his sight!
his name: "Brother Guy Larson"
his hiking wardrobe: EFY sweatshirt, brown dress pants, and boots
his story:  diagnosed with multiple lung conditions 
the cure: a strict 6-times-a-week hiking regime of Y mountain 
Guy told us his whole story and bore his soul within the first 10 minutes.  Why he has hiked the Y over 1,400 times in the last 5 years-not missing a day, the love he has for his 2 daughters, the keys to succeed, and his testimony.  
This man is loud, bright and very religious.
 At one point in our trip he was giving his round of high fives to the hikers coming down making sure not to miss anyone.  He missed a small boy and ran down the mountain to make sure he tagged him.  There was also a Hispanic man, Guy screamed, "BUENOS DIAS!" I about fell over.
When we reached the Top of the Y he politely said, "Hold on, I must go to my ending point." this was a very important 10 more feet.
To read about Guy's story and to get a better feel for my morning, click HERE.  This article can say it better than i can.

Guy Guy, What a Guy.

Peoples Prime

Right after Anthropology, THIS is what i turned the corner to... & this is what i have been turning the corner to for the past couple of weeks... he is in a new position each time. it's kind of a guessing game i now have with myself.. his outfit i always nail on the head though, right on every time.

So this weekend i took a short road trip to Arizona for my roommates wedding, & along the way we did some stops.  My favorite was the Hoover Dam, an "engineering wonder!" according to my ever so excited mother that i was there!  here are a few reason why i love the Hoover dam so much:

Now this next one is quite interesting and i think sums up half of the students at UVU... she said it was her Halloween costume... remember now, its February.

This is the email i got from my mom this morning:

"Megs,
All my life people have told me I look like someone they know. I can totally relate to the post on your blog. I think it gets so old sometimes. I have the typical "white caucasian" face. And if that's not bad enough, they say I look like the ugliest actress known to man"

I'm sorry Meryl Streep.

All my life everyone i meet tells me i look like or remind them of someone else. i am always "the best friend back home", "the childhood neighbor", the "cousin", or the "old girlfriend of a sibling". Today i got my favorite one yet:
"My latino friend", who yes, is a male.

and to think, i thought i was an individual.

Into The Woods

These are beautiful pieces of artwork on the walls of my institute class. now don't get me wrong, i see the talent behind them but.. i also from a distance find them quite revealing. the first ones thumb is in the wrong position... take a step back, squint a little, and you'll know what i mean.

the second one i feel like the Liahona should be replaced with a gun.. and across Lehi's face he has a sneer and it's saying, "nice gun i'm packin' eh?"


+i was walking down the hall today and the girl ahead of me had on the new fashion statement: short dress, tights, and high heels. her hair was curled and HUGE and i knew she was trying to look GOOOD, really good. well there was one problem with this fashionista. her backpack hit her in the perfect spot. The more she walked the more her backpack snuck up the bottom of that dress and held it there. her dress was pulled all the way up in the back and lets just say.. i found you Ms. New Booty. Now remember, she is wearing tights, and for all of you who know your tights... they get more shear as they go up the leg... you can only imagine.
fortunately i was on the phone while i saw this mishap so i couldn't snap a photo for your loving eyes to behold.

+KEVIN UPDATE: i saw Kevin at institute today sitting, rather close, to the the Laura Kroft look alike tapping that pen. Kevin is doing just fine.

The bus is starting to smell a little funny. Today i found myself smelling it, and knew it was time to start mouth breathing again.

Elderly.

So i have biology at 8:30 in the morning which means if i want to ride the bus i need to catch the 7:59 bus. i woke up at 8.. great.. and had to shower.. even better. i decided to take the day off from biology and go swimming instead. i threw my suit on and went to golds gym to get it over with for the day. When i got there all the lanes were gone and i saw a bunch of old people walking down the handicap stairs to get into the water... PERFECT, WATER AEROBICS. Being who i am, i jumped in and told everyone i was joining today. To the left of me was dear marci parker. a 4 foot nothing Hispanic woman who was as tiny as could be. her chin barely came over the surface of the water. when i asked her her name and repeated it to make sure i had it right she replied with a simple "Si." and went back to her work out with the biggest grin on her face. to the right of me was Elvi Nielson. She was hysterical. her laugh was contagious and i could not get enough of these women! there were 5 ladies and one man (a dragged along husband of course). as we were in the water i was almost drowning i could not get enough water aerobics! one of the routines was, "kick me, kick me like i just stole your baby!" Elvi so softly but in her loudest voice yelled "not MY baby! HIYA!" Here are the highlights:
+we had noodles and were pretending they were bicycles going from one end of the pool to the other. as we were doing this one of the ladies looks over at me and says "wow! you got it! the first time i ever did this the noodle kept smacking me in the face, SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK!"
+can we stop now?
+at one point we were asked to shimmy. the instructor kept saying "please ladies, keep them in the water, keep them in the water!" while the women were jumping up as high as they can and shimmying their hearts content. i looked over at Marci during this, and she was doing her little wiggle and i yelled "Marci! Baila Baila" she started laughing so hard she nearly drowned.
+Afterward the ladies informed me they sit in the hot tub for 10 min after each work out, and they so kindly invited me to join. They were so much fun to be with, they made me laugh with each word. They invited me to join them every morning from 8:30-9:30am i think i will become a regular!

Fa La La La La

in advance, i am sorry for those who read this whole blog and don't laugh. Some of these moments might be "you had to be there" moments, they all are hilarious to me though.. that's why i write them.. so sorry if you don't laugh...
Todays Favorites:
1. i turned the corner to this:
His leg was twitching his arm looked like it was about to fall off. I was going to just walk by but i decided i needed to capture this moment. i took a picture of him and instantaneously started laughing so hard, out loud. a boy stopped next to me and started laughing so he took a picture too. as we walked away from each other i could hear him still laughing which then made me laugh harder.. then the people who were coming down the stairs while i was going up looked at me so strange because i was alone.. laughing. this made me laugh even harder. i could barely walk up the stairs.

2. So in institute today we had a new girl sign up for the class so the teacher told us to ask her 2 questions about her life. no one said anything. it was dead silent until the boy across the row from her asked her what her favorite gum was. (welcome to institute.) she batted her eye lashes and looked up at him through her bangs and said, "Spearmint Stride" This made his day.... it must have, because half way through the lesson i turned around and they were sharing spearmint stride gum and literally just smiling at each other, eyes locked like I've never seen. I'm sure they will be holding hands tomorrow.

3. This week i have been riding the bus to school, i don't have any more gas in my car and i just can't get up the gumption to spend money to fill it. i paid for a bus pass at the beginning of the semester so i guess i should use it, it is quite convenient i must say and also... its where i get my entertainment. here is a little background to riding the bus for those of you who don't get the privilege.
Passengers of Bus 830:
-The guy who has his music WAY to loud coming from his earphones and i can sing word for word in perfect sync
-The boy who is singing aloud to himself, not thinking that other people can hear him
-The woman with her over sized roller backpack with papers coming out of all angles
-The teenage over-pierced couple that are just SO in love and can't stop embracing
-The man who blinks uncontrollably fast and often while rocking back and forth
-If you're lucky you get the missionaries, the blind, the seeing eye dog to go along with the blind, and don't forget the abundant amount of Asians.
Today's bus ride went a little something like this:
preface
boy #1: overly large with an overly small head and the voice of Rocky.
boy #2: tall and skinny with red yellow hair and beady eyes.
They just got reunited since High School.. what a better place than the Provo Bus. Boy #1 walks onto the bus after their reunion he is waiting and i look up just at the RIGHT moment to see a perfect stream, very long, of clear boogers drop out of his nose and hit the bus floor? or seat? i could not tell.. this to me was when i decided to stop riding the bus and go get some gas. woof.
Here is some of their conversations in the 30 enjoyable minutes i got to be with them
boy #1: "dude just call me a Womoan"
boy #2: "what....?"
boy #1: "a white samoan. i am totally going to samoa to be with my kind, raww dude. ya"

boy #2: "i had the most retarded roommate ever, he was so freaky dude he thought he was a psychic ninja with gifts.. he played the wood flute every night and i could never bring chicks over. i hated that kid"

boy #2: "i love getting hammered, i have on several occasions"
boy #1: "yeah man me too, have you done the green? i love that stuff"
boy #2: "dude you do that stuff now?"
boy #1: "cha man i use to be so molly Mormon"
boy #2: "Dude i could never figure you out"

A very built Tongan then walks onto the bus with earphones on. His shirt says UVU basketball
boy #1: " yo! homeboy! my brother, what IS up!?!"
Tongan: looks up, sits down, and completely ignores him out of embarrassment
boy #1: "That is my friend, He is in my math class"

Meet T. Heath Ogden, my biology Teacher.

Please, watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvqoF-uhQnQ
keep in mind the picture above. Picture him screaming at the top of his lungs "EVOLUTION BABY!", playing the air guitar, and head banging.. When he was done, his perfect slicked back hair was parted in the middle and he had bangs like Jessie from Full House.
Talk about a Biology class...

**Note for the day:
Bigger & Faster means NOTHING if you are sterile.

So There's This Boy...

So I am in an institute class everyday, Monday through Friday. Meaning some days i go home and sleep instead of attending because i feel like its a good justification. I went to my Teachings of President Thomas S. Monson the first week and like any first day of class it was dead silent and no one talked to each other. we were all standing in line to sign the role and the boy in front of me chuckles to himself and says with a gulp, "wow it sure is quiet in here!" trying to break the "awkward" (even though it hardly was) tension.. I, being the closest one to him, felt the need to respond.. so i just smiled. He then sat himself right next to me and asked me all the questions that Randolph asked me.. this was about 2 weeks ago. Now, I have been exhausted every Tuesday and Thursday because of my ever so early biology class at 8:30 so i haven't been back since that first day. Well last Thursday i took the plunge and decided it was time to stop being inactive from the prophets teachings and attend because honestly, it is an amazing class. i took a 2 hour nap in the upstairs of the institute building while i waited between classes and the minute i walked in, this particular boy i met the first day waved me down and i had no other choice, i stumbled over the stray feet and back packs to the end of the row to sit by him. during the lesson there was a quote that i absolutely loved and was scurrying to get all the words down before the slide was changed. This gentleman of a guy next to me was quicker than i was and got the last sentence that i was missing. i asked him if i could copy it and after i was done he took his clicker pen, leaned in closely, dipped his head, and coughed... tapping his pen to the lower left hand corner of his notebook. written in very sloppy hardly readable handwriting i read, "whats your #?"
how do i ALWAYS get in these situations with people i DON'T want to give my number to.. why can't any of the cute boys ask? i see this boy two times a week.. blahhh so i wrote it very fast and rushed out! on my way out i heard the mumble, "i'm trying to be bold meghan!" in an almost yell... woah.
so he texted me about 5 minutes after the fact, the clever "testing 123 testing 123" text. i never replied. i forgot to be honest. he has texted me about 4 or 5 times since he got my number and i take a good... 24 hours? to reply. oops. well today he texted me asking me out to dinner this weekend and i never texted back (is that horrible?) and i fell asleep in the institute building and woke up right before Book of Mormon. i put the hood of my coat over my head without the arms in and stumbled off to class. with my eyes closed and half way asleep still trying to wake up i ran head first into a boy in the hallway! i think i should stop closing my eyes... i looked up and to end my perfect day, i rub my eyes to see KEVIN!

According To Randolph

Today started out like just any old particular Friday. I slept through my first three alarms, woke up too late to shower on purpose, took 30 minutes to find a parking spot, and ran into Anthropology with 3 minutes to spare. Afterward I decided I had had enough of UVU for one hour so I took a detour home to the temple. There was a two hour wait but I definitely had time to kill. I sat down feeling overwhelmed from just simple being. I closed my eyes for a second and to my dismay quickly felt my seat pop up with the jolt of another who plopped down next to me. I slowly opened my eyes to the image of hairy feet and toenails literally 2cm long. My face became contorted and I was in disgust that someone could even wear shoes with those hangers! I closed my eyes again trying to make the image disappear. Five or ten minutes go by and then I hear a heavy aired and loud "whisper" say "Whats your name?" Oh gosh.. I immediately think to myself.. honestly?? why?? sigh... I tell toenails my name and he says with much confidence "I'm Randolph." Fit him well, I must say.. Here is where the story picks up though.. He then asks me every question in the book.. I felt like I was on a first date slash at a stake dance during a slow song.. I was quite taken off guard by why he needed to know all these things right now in the temple... "Why do you want to be a Deaf Studies Major?? Do you have a Deaf Mom or Dad?" Ok Randolph.. I'm trying to feel the spirit and YES I do try and come each week.. and YES I come alone... Here though is the ticket: "What are you doing after this??" (Jaw drops and I wish I would have never opened my eyes in the first place) Did he seriously just ask that... My mind was racing and I slowing said.. "swimming.. I like to swim...(since previously he asked what I do for fun each day)" Thankfully I was saved by the worker before he could respond and it was my turn. I never saw Randolph again.. I don't know where he went.. or why he was there.. but he answered the question me and my roommates have had for years.. do guys really pick up girls in the temple, and do people really meet their spouses there.. thank you Randolph, forever it could have been a mystery.

Along The Way

Ok, so I decided I needed to tell my day to day stories with someone, somewhere. I Go to Utah Valley University and it is the cherry on top for people watching. I can sit for hours on end sometimes even missing a class watching the people there. They make quite the company! I park, on purpose, on the opposite end of campus just so I can walk through the crowds picking favorites.
Here are some of my favorite this past week:
+The boy who was ferociously coming towards the main front doors on roller blades so quickly that he almost hit the door face first. I stopped to see what he was going to do when he got inside.. was he going to put on shoes? I was so curious.. I watched as he somehow hit the handicap button, with pretty good aim I must say, and to my disappointment but sudden laughter out loud he went right on his way! Rollerblading as fast as he could right down the hall of flags trying to dodge the people in his way.

+There is this boy I see everywhere.. I see him at the grocery store, I see him on campus, I see him at Pizza Pie Cafe, I see him every place you can imagine. After seeing him regularly for a good week or so I begin to think we are friends and want to call out to him or say hello each time I see him.. this however is not the case. I do not know his name, I doubt he even knows I exist, and we certainly are not even acquaintances.. we are nothing. Not even to my surprise, he is in my Biology class. He sat in front of me yesterday and we had our first words.. he has Jesus as the background of his computer.

+Sitting in Biology singing to myself and the boy next to me asks me if I said something.. kind of embarrassed I said, "Oh sorry I just have a song stuck in my head I can't get out.." He then, raising one eye brow says, "Don't worry, you wouldn't feel dumb right now if you knew what I was doing this morning.." Taken off guard and very curious it took me about a minute to ask him.. "what exactly were you doing, DAN" with conviction and improving his posture he clears his throat and says he was doing British accents talking to himself in the car and laughing so hard about it he had to pull over.. oh my heavens! He is now my "study buddy" (in a British accent)

+The girl who walks the halls in the as-short-as-they-get-without-being-a-belt-loop-jean- 'shorts' (in the winter time), army combat boots, and fish net tights. She was walking with her matted blond hair straight towards me and without missing a beat or thinking whatsoever I sing aloud "HEY MAMA HEY MAMA!" After realizing what I just did, I picked up the pace of my step.. yikes!

+ The teacher who wants to do a good dead so he sees the trash in the trash can is overflowing. He tries to balance himself with his roller backpack and the trashcan lip while he picks up his leg and shoves it right down into the bottom of the trashcan. Losing his balance he falls over slightly but catches himself with his rolling backpack, love those, and takes all the trash he put into the trashcan out on the floor with his leg.. nice job little boy blue.